DSA Fall 2025 - Winter 2026 Lyric Contest Winners

 Lyric Contest Director Alexis Tapp is on vacation so I’m stepping in for these contest comments. It’s always a good idea to define your sections when sending in lyrics for any reason. - Barbe

1st Place 

So I Go, by Christy Sasser (artist name Violet Pen)

I packed my two-door coupe with everything I owned

Drove north along that quiet Alaskan road

Thought I’d find warmth out there in the snow

Thought his love would finally make me whole

So I go, and I go, and I go

What I’m looking for, I don’t know

These roads feel like prayers to someone who ain’t there

All this running’s getting me nowhere

Rose-colored glasses don’t stay on long

And it’s hard admitting that I was wrong

Now my foot’s on the gas, I’m heading out again

Another goodbye, another end I can’t explain

So I go, and I go, and I go

What I’m looking for, I don’t know

These roads feel like prayers to someone who ain’t there

All this running’s getting me nowhere

Out here I can see a thousand stars tonight

God, I was hoping one was mine

So I go, and I go, and I go

What I’m looking for, I don’t know

These roads feel like prayers to someone who ain’t there

All this running’s getting me nowhere

This four-way stop could take me anywhere

Usually I’m on the fastest road out of here

But this time I tap the brake, let go the wheel

This time, maybe this time, I'll be still

Judges Comment

This song has some good structure and an interesting story. You could bring more emotion into the story by exploring the senses of the mail character.

2nd Place

Stuck by Staci Wedding, Tawakoni, Tx

Verse 1:

She was stuck, stuck out on the plains

in a town, a town with too much space

So she dreamed, beyond the tumbleweeds 

Of another place with a new name

To stake her claim

Verse 2:

Texas girl, Texas through and through

from her hat, hat down to her boots

Rooted deep, unfortunately 

she never found common ground

in this town

Chorus:

She needs to

Breath, breathe some mountain air

See, see snowflakes in her hair

Go, go press her luck

Cause if she dont, go for broke

she’ll be stuck

Verse 3:

30 years, years gone in the wind

She will start, start over again

Leave this land, make her final stand

so long windmills cotton fields

she’s got a plan 

Verse 4:

Grandma might, might roll in her grave

Headed north, north to another state

bags are packed, packed up in her truck

shes a little scared but what the hell

her minds made up

Chorus:

She needs to

Breath, breathe some mountain air

See, see snowflakes in her hair

Go, go press her luck

Cause if she dont, go for broke

she’ll be stuck

TAG

Cause if she don’t go for broke

She’ll be stuck

Judges Comment

This is a good story and has some good structure. I would suggest using 1st person to make the lyric more powerful. Also, the Grandma verse 4 might make a good bridge. Use different melody and lyrical meter and lose the 1st and last line. Add a chorus after verse 3 before the bridge. 

3rd Place 

Just Not Today  by Rio King Plano, Tx

(Dancer’s Lament)   

        

3/4/ time

Verse1: I knew that you'd be leavin',

Knew you couldn't stay.

(I'm) down on my knee and I'm grievin', Lord,

    

Refrain1: (I) Just  wasn’t ready today,

Just......not.... today.

Verse2: Another night of dancing was always,                    

Just a two-step  away.

We always had us an encore, didn't we?

    

Refrain2: Just....not....today, (there’s)

    No more tomorrows today.

Bridge: Dancin’ shoes wait by the door, two pair, your’s and mine;

                  Two-inch heels and black and whites, sadly in need of a shine. 

Verse3 :      I'll trade my ev'ry tomorrow, Lord,

Just give me one chance,

To swing on the floor, just once more. 

Loorrrd,…. could we dance!!

Lord, could we dance? 

Verse4: I knew that you'd be leavin',

Knew you couldn't stay.

(I'll)  Take on tomorrow, tomorrow, Lord,

    

Refrain3: I'm just not ready today,

    Just....not....today. 

Outro: (I'll) Take on tomorrow, tomorrow, Lord,

    Just not today,

    Just...................not today.

Judges Comment

This is a heart breaker! Good structure, but KEEP THE CHORUS THE SAME EVERY TIME. Keep other ideas for your outdo. Remember your fans want to sing along so keep it simple.  I think what you call your Verse 3 is still part of the bridge and could come to a pleading climax at the bridge’s ending. 

Comments on some other entries:

Leave Me Alone - KEEP THE CHORUS THE SAME EVERY TIME.  Remember your fans want to sing along so keep it simple.  You could set up a pre-chorus to accommodate little changes for each verse if you need to do that. Songs are for ears. Try to get more rhymes into your song.

Father’s Daughter - Try to get your title/hook into the 1st or last line of the chorus or both. Try using positive thoughts in the chorus and save the negative ones in the verse for the dad. That will give contrast between the sections. Also you can use minor chords in the verse and major ones in the chorus. To give the same contrast. 

It’s A Long Way to Santa Fe - Love songs about New Mexico! Name your sections: Verse Chorus-Bridge- Intro-outro. Keep lyric conversational do not force the rhyme. You would not say “Place where my head did lay”.

Some Kinda Feelin’ - Keep lyric conversational - “In an instant when eyes met” + “In an instant when OUR eyes met”. This makes it more personal. Rhyme structure should be the same each verse.

Remembering Linda -  Try to keep the rhyme structure the same each verse.

DSA 2025 SPRING-SUMMER LYRIC CONTEST WINNER

 LC2025 Spring-Summer Winner

FIRST PLACE LYRIC with judge's comments:   I absolutely love your lyric.  It is so close to being complete.
       

 I will first suggest that you always indicate with labels what is verse and chorus and bridge and any other sections you include.  It will make your lyric more professional, and if you are pitching a song or entering or submitting it for any kind of consideration, it needs to be clearly marked.  I'm not sure what to call the sections you included with the 2 lines, but they work for me although this is a bit of a different structure,

        I also made a few changes to improve where the stresses would fall or for the sake of better flow of a few of your lines.  Honestly, this is a different layout for a lyric, but it works for me.  These words share your thoughts in an interesting, engaging, and fresh way.

        The additions I made in red are mine.
        The additions made in purple are just where I moved your section down to make it an outro.  

 I hope you’ll Trust me to have removed a few words.  My goal is to help you make your lyric it’s best. 
        

Congratulations on your work here.  I hope you’ll submit again.  I hope you’ll do something with this lyric.
        From your DSA Lyric Judge, Alexis Tapp

                                                     The Moments Lost  by Wayne Gathright, Austin, TX



Verse 1:              

I lost a moment yesterday while shopping at the store

And when I searched to get it back, I lost a little more ...

I saw them flying in the wind and reached up in the air,

Yet when I looked inside my hand, there were no moments there…



              The moments lost are like the clouds high up in the sky 

              Enjoy each moment while it’s there, before they float on by



Verse 2:

I thought I saw them in a stream as I stood on the shore

I tried to catch them, but I lost the ones I had before -

They floated down the winding creek and soon flowed out of sight

I realized what I’d lost and then … I began to cry ...


 

           The moments lost are like water dripping from in your hand

           They will slip away even if you hold - as tight as you can 



Bridge: Don’t miss them when they happen, they will never come again
You can’t hold or possess them once they’re already spent



  Verse 3:              I sat and pondered what to do as time marched through the day,
                             And as I sat there deep in thought a lot more slipped away…
                             And while I wondered what went wrong they swept back like a breeze
                             For all the moments that I lost had changed to memories…

  Outro:                 The moments lost are like the air like the air you breathe
                              Take it in and hold it, then it has to be released

DSA Fall 2024-Winter 2025 Lyric Contest

 

Thank you to our judge, Lyric Contest Director Alexis Tapp for comments!

 

 

First Place     I’m Right Here by Dwayne Hummel, Gig Harbor, WA                

Suggestions to strengthen your lyric are in red and blue.

(Verse 1)
God, where are You? Was all I could say,
as I struggled to make it through another long, hard day.       Too many syllables rush the line and are not always necessary to the lyrics.  Edit Edit Edit.
Searching, looking but just not seeing clear,            “just” doesn’t add to the line and is too many syllables to flow smoothly.
He answered in my anguish, “Child, I’m right here!”        I would leave out “in”.  He answered my anguish makes better sense and flows better.

Chorus
I’m right here in the middle of your mess,
when you’re sinking low, I’m the hope rising in your chest.     
I’m the whisper when the chaos steals your ear,
you don’t have to wonder, ‘cause child, I’m right here.    Continue to cut extraneous words when possible for better flow of a line.

(Verse 2)
The world gets loud, and it drowns out my soul,        
the weight of it all tries to take control.                I suggest using shorter words like “When the weight of life tries to take control” flows better.
But even in captivity, Your voice breaks through,        “Even trapped here in captivity, Your voice is breaking through.” Read your line next to this one.
saying, "Hold on, child, I will carry you!"

Chorus
I’m right here in the middle of your mess,
when you’re sinking low, I’m the hope rising in your chest.
I’m the whisper when the chaos steals your ear,
you don’t have to wonder, ‘cause child, I’m right here.

(Bridge) — [Rap/Spoken]
When you’re at your lowest, when you feel alone,
when you’re crying out, thinking hope is gone—        
I’m the fire in your heart, the light on your path,
the grace that holds you and always guides you back.    “the grace that’s holding you will always guide you back.”
Every tear you cry, every prayer you say,
I’m the love that’s steady, and I’ll never walk away.        “I’m the love that holds you steady,…”

Chorus
I’m right here in the middle of your mess,
when you’re sinking low, I’m the hope rising in your chest.
I’m the whisper when the chaos steals your ear,
you don’t have to wonder, ‘cause child, I’m right here.

Outro
Oh, I’m right here—closer than you know.
I’ll never leave you; I will never let you go.
In your triumphs, in your struggle, and always in your fear,
don’t worry my child—I’m right here!

Think more in terms of conversational lyrics.  When you talk to God, do you say every single ”the”, “and”, “well” or “in”?
Consider writing more casually like you and God are just talking like two friends.
 I appreciate and enjoy faith-based music from believers.  Thank you for your submission.

Second Place     Neon in Her Eyes  by Craig Hendricks, Mentone, AL

She's a true Texas lady,
every cowboy's dream
pretty as an Amarillo sky
sweet as Abilene
To anyone who knows her,
it comes as no surprise
that when she thinks of him,
you see the neon in her eyes

She'd grown tired
Of those one night rodeos
Smokey bars, honky tonks,
And life out on the road
She thought she finally found
A place her heart could hide
But when she thinks of him
You see the neon in her eyes

(Chorus)
The Green of envy,
when he tells her he won't stay
The blue of her sorrows
as she watched him ride away
the orange and red of anger
when she caught him in his lies
When she thinks of him,
you see the neon in her eyes

Sometimes she thinks she hears
His voice whispering on the wind
And part of her starts wishing
She was in his arms again
But her love is like a sunset
That fades into the night
And when she thinks of him
You see the neon in her eyes

(Chorus)
The Green of envy,
when he tells her he won't stay
The blue of her sorrows
as she watched him ride away
the orange and red of anger
when she caught him in his lies
When she thinks of him,
you see the neon in her eyes

(outro)
When she thinks of him,
you see the neon in her eyes

Your lyric has a nice feel to it.  I like the first verse.  I would consider checking
your cadence and perhaps changing the third line to “pretty Amarillo sky,
sweet as Abilene”.  It feels smoother, says the same thing without rushing the
line.  Such a small change can help the flow of a lyric without losing the point.
Example:  perhaps on the second verse, remove “the” and have the line be:
”you see neon in her eyes.”  As I write, I edit over and over until I feel I’ve
eliminated words that don’t add to the story.  There are multiple places in your
lyric where your message won’t suffer if you remove a few words.  Does the
“orange and red” need the “orange”part?  “There’s neon in her eyes” is more
powerful than ‘you see the neon in her eyes”. It’s direct. Also, I suggest you
make the chorus more hooky with a clearer message. All of these suggestions
could help strengthen your lyric and make it more radio ready.  I hope you’ll
rework this piece and resubmit it to DSA.  Thank you.

Third Place         Look at Me  by Wayne Gathright, Austin, TX    

Suggestions to strengthen your lyric are in red and blue.

That sunny day getaway - there was no prouder man        
My little daughter ran to me and grabbed my (great big) hand    Adding ‘great big’ would establish your meter and word stresses in these two lines.
tShe pulled me to where there stood a sturdy old oak tree.         “She pulled me as she does to a sturdy old oak tree…” is much stronger & less words.
With excitement, begging, ‘Daddy can I climb it please?        Try not to use ‘she’ as often and start a line with a prepositional phrase to break things up.
 
Disappearing, up she went- I wondered at my choice?
Then way up high I saw a wave and heard a tiny voice say

Look at me! I’m way up here in this big oak tree        Look at me! I’m as happy as can be.    I suggest keeping the two choruses the same or close.
I’m mommy’s little angel - I’m daddy’s big girl            I would consider changing “big” to ‘”great big” or “favorite’ for syllable count and better flow.
I’m way up here on top of the (whole) world                        
Look at me – look at me

Those happy days turned to months, months turned into years.   Happy days turned to months, month turned into years
My wife and I, patched her scrapes and kissed away her tears
That first date, the high school prom, a Romeo swept her away.  There are too many syllables in this line. “Young love swept her away” flows better.
She smiled at us and said these words on her wedding day

Look at me! I’m as happy as a girl could ever be                 I suggest keeping the chorus close to the same each time. See notes above.
Mom, you are my angel and dad I’m still your girl
And I feel like I’m on top of the world
Just look at me …

Then one day my (whole) world fell apart and left me asking why.          Watch your syllable count for good flow, non-rushed words.
My wife was  would be taken from me in the “quick” blink of an eye     Same reason for this change. Too many syllables.
My life was not worth living - I could not go on this time             How would I survive?
And as my hope slipped away a hand slipped into mine.                 “And as hope slipped out of my hand, another one took mine.”  
                                            Learn to notice stressed words.
Dad, look at me, don’t give up we’ll make it through, you’ll see    “Saying” Daddy, look at me.  We’ll……..”
Mommy’s with the angels, but beside you is your girl            “……., But I’m still your little girl.”  
I’ll help you get by – it’s not the end of our world
Look at me, dad, look at me

This is a sweet story and will make a nice lyric with some additional work.  It all needs editing.
Think about your syllable count on each line and try to have each verse match the others with
the same number of counts. Perhaps research how to manage your stresses in songwriting.  
I suggest reading your lyrics aloud over and over from first draft until the final draft to check
your cadence and examine the strength of each line.  Is there a condensed way or more colorful
way to say the same thing?If a line doesn’t roll off the tongue easily, perhaps there’s another way
to say the same thing with more ease.  You want to capture the listener with each word and line …
not just the over-all ‘good idea’.  Consider each line as a next piece of your lyric puzzle.  Each line
is worth serious scrutiny to help each word the best choice for your song. Writing from personal
experience helps your subject matter ring true.  Bring the story alive by using more tangible details
from your memories and share those with your potential audience.  Thank you for your sweet
submission.  I suggest you work on this a bit more and resubmit it next round.

Fourth Place        ANNA’s SONG   by Michael Clarke, Mt Carroll, IL

Come by today            You have established a rhyme scheme with the first four lines of ABBC which you don’t carry out in your lyric.
I’ll leave the door unlocked    
No need to knock
Just come on in            I would say, “Feel free to come on in” for the sake of meter.
I’ll put the kettle on
And make some tea
No TV
Just you and me                Consider adding, “Hanging comfortably” or something to keep that segment balanced.
We can talk the by n’ by            I would leave this first line about by n’ by as is, but I suggest the following line be something like this:
While the leaves are falling        While leaves are falling    
We’ll stay warm by the fireside        We can stay warm by the fire (keep your present tense going with can and cut ‘side’ as it’s too many syllables                    
It’s hard to keep from yawning        We’ll both start yawning (your line has too many syllables).  I suggest you study some on song structure.
I have some cake
A little ice cream too
No need to choose
It’s all for you                Perhaps ”I bought it all for you” or something that adds syllables for this line to match up & flow well.
And when we’re done
Let’s head down to the lake
The plans we make
Walking off that cake
All my senses seem to come alive
When I feel you near me
You bring peace into my life
This is good, you’ll see
Lie next to me                Perhaps “Come.  Lie next to me” to keep your meter the same as the first line in this section.
We’ll count the evening stars
Which one’s Mars                I might say, “I’ll ask you which one’s Mars”
That’s really far
Funny how we seem
To make each other smile
We got awhile                Right about here, I feel like you lost your way in this lyric.  
Another mile                    The bulk of the song was an interesting series of phrases.  
Can two hearts make it right
With all the things that can be
If you wish you can stay the night
This is good, you’ll see
© 2025

It is helpful for the reader to see the song structure:  Verse 1, Verse 2 etc. with Chorus and/or bridge.  
It’s important for the rhyme scheme to be clear as well.   For instance, if you switch the 3rd and 4th line,
you’ll create a rhyme scheme for the first four lines  of a b c b.  Then you can use that as your pattern
throughout the song.  This feels a bit more like prose with no-rhyming intentions in some places and
then clearly in others, you have created rhymes like ‘tea’,’TV’ and ‘me’ but these don’t follow an
established patter, because your lines starting with “I’ll put the kettle on” ( I like that line ) has a
pattern of a b b b.  But you do have a repeated a b b b pattern starting with “I have some cake” and
then again starting with the line “Lie next to me” a b b b and “Funny how we seem”, so I’m not sure
of your intentions.  I like the vibe of the lyric.  It feels welcoming from the beginning.  I do feel like you
change the direction of your message somewhere in the middle to a love song which kind of confused
me, because I thought the first half seemed like it could have been with anybody, not just a lover.
Anyway, I appreciate your entry and like your images, and I’d certainly come have cake and tea with
you by the fireside.  Keep writing from your heart, stay on message, and work on song structure and
rhyme patterns.  I would like to see you work on this further and resubmit it.

Fifth Place      Voodoo Salad  by Bill Kapac , Wildwood, NJ

This is an interesting concept, and you’ve added some interesting phrases
like “in the voodoo salad called New Orleans”, but your lyrics have extraneous
words that don’t add to your story.  I suggest you edit, edit, edit, eliminating
unnecessary words, allowing your story to not get lost in the clutter. I also
notice some verses that don’t have the same number of syllables as others.
Try to keep in mind that solid song structure will strengthen your lyric’s appeal.
Also, check your word stresses, so that your lines flow with more ease. Perhaps,
include yourself more into your lyric by using the first-person perspective and
some, personal, tangible details and references.  Do all that and then read the
whole lyric again out loud and see if you weren’t the writer, if you would get the
whole picture clearly.  If not, work on it further.  Thank you for your entry and
hope you’ll keep writing and submitting to DSA lyric contest.

Honorable Mention       Shadows Play  by Wayne Gathright, Austin, TX

This lyric is a clever idea with some interesting phrases.  I suggest you
work on clarity of message.  For instance, the first chorus starts out
strong with the first two lines, but then I don’t understand the message
of the last two lines in relationship to the whole song meaning.  If you’re
going to write from the perspective of the shadow, that could be something
interesting, but you’ll benefit from reading as if you didn’t write it to see
if you’d understand how each line moves the story and if it makes sense
to the listener, or reader in this case.  I like the step to the right, step to the
left idea.  That’s very clear and clever. The whole chorus works well.  I got
lost in the bridge as if there’s part of the story you’ve not addressed
previously in your story.  Perhaps you can give a hint earlier on about
your message.  Thank you for your submission.  I hope this is helpful
in creating the level of work for which you seem capable.